Wishing you all a very calm and easy new year...
and may 2023 surround you with light and the courage to keep shining... Tina
I have recently been thinking about compassion fatigue and wanted to share some thoughts and information about it, as I often forget about ME! As a mum I often feel like I am being pulled in many directions and often it's not until my body is screaming out at me that I regroup, step back in and attend to my needs - I'm sure this rings a bell.
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
— Siddharta Gautama
You’ve probably heard the words ‘compassion fatigue’ floating around – but what do they actually mean?
From the Latin root ‘passio’ (to suffer), paired with ‘com’ (together), meaning to suffer together. The concept of compassion and it’s link to suffering is rooted in philosophical and religious views. As far back as Buddhism the term Karuna (compassion) demonstrates compassion to others - something we can all do. Fatigue from the French word ‘fatiguer’ (to tire) and from Latin ‘fatigare’ (to cause to break-down) – which is often why clients reach out for therapy.
So, through history, religious and spiritual practices there is much about being kind and compassionate to others – but what about to ourselves - often a very different story.
It is a beautiful experience being with ourselves at a level of complete acceptance. When that begins to happen, when you give up resistance and needing to be perfect, a peace will come over you as you have never known.
— Ruth Fishel
Dr Kristin Neff PHD a pioneer in the field of self compassion states ‘if you are continually judging and criticising yourself while trying to be kind to others you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation”. She believes that rather than being harsh and critical of the self, self compassion can create self acceptance and love of self - even our imperfections. Her motto is to treat yourself like you would a good friend.
(FYI Dr Kristin Neff is on youtube - check her out)
You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
— Louise L. Hay
Compassion fatigue can often result as a type of stress or second hand shock or trauma (vacarious trauma) commonly found in the caregiving sectors – common with people working on the front line whom are helping those who might be traumatised or experiencing emotional duress.
Some of the symptoms of Compassion fatigue include:
Personal symptoms:
Chronic emotional and physical exhaustion
Withdrawn and isolated
Feelings of inequity toward the therapeutic or caregiver relationship
Irritability/hyper vigilance/easily startled
Feelings of self-contempt
Difficulty sleeping/nightmares
Headaches
Diminished concentration
Loss of purpose
Workplace symptoms:
Low motivation
Loss of confidence/feeling under valued
Conflict with colleagues/detached withdrawn
Arriving late/days off/general irresponsibility
Compassion fatigue like burnout can create exhaustion and lack of interest usually related to work, the difference between them is their origin – compassion fatigue commonly originates from dealing with trauma sometimes in the workplace, sometimes transgenerational (aka vicarious trauma), whereas burnout originates from over work and stress.
The road to self compassion can be found through practices like meditation, yoga, breathwork, mindfulness - in being able to observe what is going on in our bodies and minds rather than try to change them or ignore them, journal writing - which can help to articulate and make sense with what might be going on in your life – there are many practices but perhaps the first step is acceptance…
to accept the things the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
(AA prayer)
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.
— Dalai Lama